Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Letting go

From when we are born we are expected to be something, someone, a figure in this massive world. No one ever is quick to admit it, but the fact remains the same. We are held to a standard, a standard we are issued by our family, religion or even over time ourselves. We look for commentary in our daily duties, a simple pat on the back or point of the finger to lead us in the direction one seems fit. Instead of listening to our own desires and passions we now paint our picture of life to attract the ones we look to for approval. But, how wonderful and innovative would Da Vinci's work be if he had created it for someone else? Or how inspirational would Thoreau's words be if he had written it for the American people of his time, for their approval? We are not to create for another, we are to create for ourselves, to voice our deepest thoughts and opinions. We must take all of the social rules and conformity's we have come to obtain over our life time and toss them aside. We must find who WE are and not who someone else wants us to be. We have passions, a creative self within us that was put there to do, not to sit by and mold into whatever the mood of the moment is. Take off the chains you have wrapped around yourself over time and freely create what it is you most desire, what makes you tick, think, what makes you be you. For so long I struggled with pleasing others, basing every action and thought I would make on their reaction. I even still battle with this from time to time today but have made it my goal to rid of this leech completely. How many hours have I wasted worrying when I could have been creating and more importantly, living?! How many others have done just the same and have failed to realize it? Life does not stop for us, for our decisions on whether we will get positive feed back on our choice of major, career, husband/wife etc. Life presses on without even a look at these things and so should we. Go abroad and live off the little money you make doing what you love. Get the experience you want, we sit by and see these movies or read these books that talk of people who live their dream and wish we could do the same. Stop wishing, go be your own protagonist and make your story the way you want it to be. Because in the end, all that matters is that you lived, not who praised you while living.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Paper thin

I sit here, early this Tuesday morning listening to my ihome and playing on my mac. Nothing about this seems odd or unfamiliar to me, and why should it? But, so many fail to have a life like this, a life where they can own these "gadgets" that have become as familiar as my own hand. To so many, a regular meal is something to look forward to, a roof over their head, a family who listens, or just someone who cares. But how can I, a college student in the suburbs of Southern California, come to give those people a taste of my life. I complain about financial aid not working my account out to register for spring classes and there are people dying as I pout. The worst part is that no matter how hard my brain works, how many wheels turn in my mind and sleepless nights I accumulate, life continues on without me helping one of those starving children. So what do we do? How can we get through this life and help those who need us. Do we join the Peace Corps? Send all our money to agencies who help those in need? Do they even help everyone? They cannot. It is impossible. Only a select few can benefit from your donation of thirty dollars a month. Then why do we do it? Why do we try to help the world when it seems like every step we take we are already eleven steps back and our advancement makes no dent in the travesties we set out to fix. It is an endless cycle that we continue to follow in hopes that we can somehow satisfy the call to a greater good. We cannot run a rut into the ground where we are tracking back and forth attempting to accomplish this. If we cannot aid directly than we must find another way. We need to find ourselves before we can aid others, create something within us, for us, and there you go, you have become more than just a walking jubilation of matter. In knowing this little more about life, about you, you have become open to the world, allowing people to become part of your life and you of theirs. This is how we can help someone, it isn't the money, the endless focus on attempt to change the future. We can become enlightened, allowing ourselves to just be, and in this we can be used in greater ways than our minds can fathom.